


Hanahaki

by LinkyMew (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, hanahaki, kangst, klangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2018-12-25 21:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12044958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LinkyMew
Summary: Keith is the red paladin of Voltron. He hates being sick, not wanting to be treated differently.But... he finds out he is sick.... with a disease that cant be cured by any planets but one. Even if he does get surgery to remove the thing that is causing the disease could ruin his life forever.But, he could also get Lance to return his feelings for him. Will he make it happen? Or will Keith end his life prematurely without a second option?





	1. Red Petals

Dictionary

love×

love

ləv/

noun

 

an intense feeling of deep affection.

"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"

synonyms:deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment; More

  
a person or thing that one loves.

"she was the love of his life"

synonyms:beloved, loved one, love of one's life, dear, dearest, dear one, darling, sweetheart, sweet, angel, honey; More

 

* * *

 

Keith sat in his lion, looking at the darkness that was the vision of the parked red lion. He sighed, and looked at his hands. He removed the leather gloves, revealing what seemed to be burns from the levers of his lion. Once again, the red paladin sighed.

He took a deep breathe, and slowly walked out of the lion's hanger. If he wasn't in the resting room, the others would worry for him. Keith didn't like being the center of attention. He hated it, almost as much as he hated Lance. Or, at least as much as he had thought he hated Lance.

The white futuristic doors sliding open, revealing the other paladins. They sat on the couch, and Keith leaned against the wall, like always.

"Keith," Allura said, "why did you take so long?" Keith shrugged. "Had to take a breather." He lied. She nodded and turned back to the rest of the paladins. "We got a distress signal from a near by planet. They are the Natagols, very interesting creatures. They specialize in medicine. I wonder what could be wrong..." The princess fretted. "Don't worry, Princess! Lancey Lance is on the case!" He gave her a smug look, giving a thumbs up for reassurance.

Keith's chest burned. Was it rage? Heart burn? Hunger? Love? Nope, not love. Definitely not love. No love whatsoever. But there was something different that ran through his mind. Keith snorted, lifting an eyebrow. "Lancey Lance? Seriously?" "Get anything better, Mullet?" Lance challenged, crossing his arms. Keith rolled his eyes. "How about Idiot? Not far from the truth." The red paladin said, smirking slyly. "Oh, wipe that smirk off your face right now!" Lance yelled. He raced towards Keith, placing his hands on either side of the wall where Keith stood. The blue paladin, filled with rage, growled.

There it was again. That feeling... in his chest... it hurt so much! Goddammit! Why did it feel like he was going to throw up? Was this normal? Did every girl Lance flirt with feel this way? Keith swallowed the pain down, and felt his face go cold and pale. "I-I'll be in my room." He reported, ducking under Lance's arm and rushing to his room. He immediately went to the bathroom, kneeling over the toilet. He threw up, not bothering to look at what came out as he did it.

After he felt it all gone, Keith wiped his mouth expecting to feel mucus on his lips. He was met by only saliva, and that was when he opened his eyes to see what came out of his mouth. He froze, confused by the sight he saw...  
Flowers. Beautiful... covered in saliva... red... flowers...

What? Confusion clouded the red paladin's mind as he stared at the toilet. How was this possible? As far as he was aware, seeds couldn't grow in your stomach. He hadn't eaten flowers recently, or at all for that matter. What was happening...?  
Wait... maybe he could ask one of those aliens for help when they got there! He would just have to hide it until then... hopefully that wouldn't be too hard...


	2. The Nagalos

_Eight days later_

 

Keith still felt sick. Many Galra ships had stopped them from getting to Nagalo, making it unbearable to live. Keith stayed strong through this. He was a paladin of Voltron, flowers don't get in the way of their duty as a team. Even so, he still felt... weak. Could hardly speak at times. He would give a nod or a thumbs up, maybe a growl, but no words. He was afraid if he spoke, flowers would seep from his mouth and expose of his sickness. Not wanting to feel weak, the red paladin kept his head high and acted as if nothing had happened. If only they knew the truth...

"Can I help you?" Lance glared at Keith, who had been staring at him for a while. Just hearing his voice made his chest heat up, and he was speechless. "I know my good looks are charming," Lance continued, "but I wouldn't expect you to notice." He flaunted, giving off a smirk. Keith rolled his eyes, and growled at Lance. "No. I don't. Now, shut up." Keith said, uncrossing his arms and getting into a stance.

"Keith." Shiro warned. "What is up with you?" Disappointment filled the black paladin's voice as he gave a concerning look towards his fellow paladin. "Nothing. I'm fine." Keith lied. No, something was definitely not fine. He was barfing up flowers. That wasn't normal! Or maybe is was. The team didn't have much information on Galras, and Keith was half Galra. Maybe male Galras throw up flowers? Keith smirked at the thought of Zarkon throwing up flowers.

"I'll be in my room." He reported, the feeling of his sickness returning. Keith slowly walked to his room, the door sliding and him entering soon after, He made his way to the toilet, to only throw up once again. Why? Why was it him? Why couldn't it be Lance? Oh wait. Lance is _perfect._ He would NEVER get sick. That bastard. Why does he have to be _such_ a damn perfect unicorn of a person-

 _wait what?_   Keith looked utterly confused and he glanced at the material that had just came out of his system. The flowers were no longer red. They were _blue_. What did that mean? Maybe it had something to do with Lance? Maybe all of this was his fault. His flirting was too freaking perfect and his looks were trying to kill him, so they sent this curse on him! HE FIGURED IT OUT.

Keith snapped back into reality. "Yeah, that probably isn't it. But damn, is Lance hot." He snickered. What was happening to his brain? He didn't say that out loud! HE WAS THE LONER! Keith swallowed hard. Was this the sickness' doing? Probably. He would just have to find out when they got to Nagalo. Just a few more days or something... maybe he would find a cute- NO STOP THINKING LIKE LANCE.

Keith slapped himself. What was wrong with him? Maybe it was a Galra instinct or something. Yeah. That had to be it. That had to be it...

"Paladins!" Allura called over the intercom. "We will soon land on Nagalo!" She reported, and stopped the intercom. Keith sighed. Already in his suit, he walked out, getting to his lion.

**Are you okay?**

"I'm fine, Red." Keith answered her. "Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm the most handsome in the group." What was coming out of his mouth?

**You're not okay.**

"Let's just go. They need us." Keith urged. Must of worked, because Red listened to her paladin's commands and began to fly out.

* * *

Keith got out of his lion, knowing the Galra now were evacuating and they had won. Now on the soft soil below, they had finally gotten to Nagalo, the planet known for its rich resources and medicine. Keith smirked, not feeling quite himself. "Thank you, oh great paladins of Voltron!" Their leader said. Lance looked as if he were about to talk, but Keith cut in. "It was in our duty to do it, especially if we got to meet you." He said, winking at a group of Nagalons. He smiled as they giggled, seeming flustered.

Shiro looked absolutely terrified. What was going on? Keith did not smile, nor did he flirt. "Keith, are you feeling okay?" The paladin asked, feeling concerned for his friend. "I'm perfect. Why?" Keith asked. "Y-you- b-but-" Shiro was generally confused. "You don't normally act like that."  
Keith shrugged. "Oh." The leader bowed. "Is there anything we would be able to do for you?" The Nagalon asked. Allura nodded. "We are looking for a..." Keith didn't bother to listen. The others were sent to help with a root or something, Keith didn't really care. But the leader said they wanted him for something. That was... odd? In a good way, he guessed.

They led him to a little tent, big enough for Keith to fit in. "Why did you need me?" He asked, trying to stop himself from saying something flirty. The leader picked up a red flower, showing it to Keith. Keith instantly recognized it as the flowers he had been throwing up. How did they have it? "I see you know this flower." the Nagalon started, "did you happen to throw up these?" She asked. Keith nodded immediately. "I was hoping you would know how to cure it so I could still help my team without a setback." He said truthfully.

Nodding, the Nagalon sighed. "What you have is no regular cold. It is not something that can be cured easily, either. This disease is called the Hanahaki disease. The cause is from one-sided love. You love someone who refuses, or just doesn't, love you back. You will have this until you move on, they love you back, or you get to the last stage." She said.

Keith swallowed. "What... what are the stages?" He asked. She sighed.

"The first stage is just a warning, red is the color. The second stage, which you are on, is blue. It makes you more flirty to get who you like. The third stage is yellow, in where you start getting desires. The fourth stage is green, where you will do anything to get noticed by your love. The last stage is black. This will start giving you suicidal thoughts, and you will die. Whether suicide or your lungs are filled with flowers into where you cant breathe anymore." She said. Keith was shaking. He didn't like anyone! But... if he did have this, he must like someone... but there was one problem...

_He didn't even know who he liked._


	3. Flowers of Blue and Yellow

Keith hated this.  
More than he hated Lance.  
You know what? Lance can fuck himself for all he cared right now because Keith was not dealing with this shit.  
YEAH.

FUCK LANCE FOR BEING TOO HOT.  
That fUCKING BEAUTIFUL MAN, HE IS.  
Keith wanted to bang his head against the wall. What the hell was going through his mind? Damn perverted thoughts and stupid, stupid Hanahaki flowers...  
Oh, how the red paladin wish he could get away from it all...  
"Hey, Keith," Shiro had knocked on the door, and he hadn't't even noticed the black paladin enter his room. Normally, he would start throwing daggers at him and yelling for him to get out, but he felt... funny. ' _Oh god no n o n o n o...'_  
"Hello. Wanting to stay in my room tonight?" NO GOD FUCKING PLEASE NO.  
THAT'S IT. KEITH WAS TAKING HIS BEYARD AND THRUSTING IT THROUGH HIS HEART SO HARD MY FUCKING GOD-  
"Uh, no." Shiro continued.

A sigh escaped Keith. Was it relief? For all he knows, it could be him sighing of that perfect time he and Shiro- NOPE NOT GOING THERE.  
Keith mentally slapped himself.  
"I wanted to talk about early... with the Natigals?"  
"Nagalogs."  
"...Right. What was up with you? You don't smile, you don't wink, you certainly never, and I repeat, _never_ flirt. Unless you had a deal with someone, I have no idea what's happening to you." Shiro explained. Keith groaned. "No shit, Sherlock."  
Ignoring the rude attitude, Shiro continued. "Alurra and Coran want to do a scan of you to make sure you don't have any viruses or anything." Shiro finished.  
Keith narrowed his eyes. "I'm fine! I don't need a scan, I'm perfectly fine!" _'Just keep on lying to yourself. That'll do it.'_ Keith kept his eyes narrowed.

Shiro didn't seem to care what Keith thought, because guess what? HE WAS IN THE SCAN ROOM. HOW WONDERFUL. FANTASTIC. HOW ABOUT KEITH JUST THROWS UP FOR THEM, EH? THAT'LL DO THE TRICK. HOW ABOUT I GIVE THEM SOME FLOWERS AND CALL IT A DAY?  
Despite all the panic Keith had, it went quite smooth.

Allora ended the procedure. "Nothing out of the normal... You seem to have eaten flowers." Lance laughed, and punched Keith in the arm. "Think that's how you get girls?" He joked.

The warmth returned to his chest. Pain pinched him as well, processing that he said girl. "No!" He growled. ' _Vomit. Great~'_ He started to walk to his room.

"Keith." Shiro called out to him. Keith spun around. "What?" He asked bitterly. "I suggest you clean up your attitude if we're going to be a team." Pidge smirked. "Shiro, lay off. Plus, he has to hold up his reputation for being the Emo!" "I AM NOT EMO!" That got Hunk and Lance to laugh. "Sure. Whatever you say."

Keith felt his hands turn into fists. "I swear, I'm going to-" "KEITH! We are a _team_ , we don't threaten our teammates." Keith raised his eyebrows. " _Whatever._ " He dismissed it, returning to his room in a hurry.

"Holy shit-" Keith's eyes were focused on the things that had come out of this mouth, and he bit his lip.  
Yellow followers surrounded where he knelt over the toilet. _Stage three was already here._

* * *

 Olurra sighed in relief as Keith ran out of earshot. Hunk excitedly moved towards the kitchen, but was stopped by the princess' voice. "Keith does have an illness." She concluded.  
All eyes were on her. "It's called, I believe, Hanahaki. The host suffers from one sided love, and throw up flowers like these." She pointed to the screen of Keith's stomach, revealing this flowers.  
"So.. Who does he like?" "That I do not know, but I bet Keith would be too stubborn to tell us. We'd have to bring every girl from the planets we have visited to see him and see if he likes them before the last stage." She said, sighing with sadness.

"What are the stages?" Lance asked. Explaining what the stages are, Princess Ullara showing examples on the screen. "...and the last is black. The one that makes you kill yourself, or you die of suffocation." She said.  
Shiro nodded in understanding. "Then we have no time to loose. Get to the lions."


	4. Shattered Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allura's misspellings are on purpose. Me and my friend have a running joke because I forget how to spell her name 24/7

Keith's heart was shattered. The yellow petals were ever growing inside of him, and his chest boiled. He felt throbbing, desire filling his head. Keith groaned, his hands reaching his face. Why? Why was it him? A longing for Lance crept inside him as he backed against the bathroom wall. "Fuck it." He whispered to now one. "I'm in love with fucking Lance of all people." He admitted, his arms wrapping around his knees and his head ducking between his legs.

Two problems with his crush: A, as far as Keith knew, Lance was straight. B, Lance hated him. Least favorite person out of all the paladins.

Fan-fucking-tastic. Keith cried into his knees, trying to stop himself. He felt useless, helpless, and defenseless. He could die of suffocation or he could kill himself out of this sickness. Would anyone even care? Maybe Allura could replace him. Or Coran, for that matter. Pathetic. He couldn't think straight. He just had to get over Lance. Relationships would only make the team weaker. Keith just need to avoid him, until he comes to terms with what he is dealing with.

Yes, then it will be all okay. No relationships. No one making him blush, and no one to make him feel loved. No one... no one to make him feel wanted. Keith's heart ached at the thought of his friends over his dead body. What would they say? That he was pathetic, for dying of _love?_   Keith imagined Lance's face. If only he knew that it was his proximity that caused this disease. Maybe if it were someone else who piloted the blue lion, then Keith would be fine.

Keith knew he would hate it if anyone else had piloted the first lion. He wanted Lance. He wanted him _now._ He _needed_ him now. "Lance..." Keith whispered, feeling his lion harden. Keith wanted to slap himself. ' _Fuck me and my perverted thoughts._ ' He thought to himself, slowly getting up and sitting on his bed. He sighed, knowing this would be one of the last times Keith would see his room. Lance could never love someone like him, a half Galra freak.

He heard the door slide open, and Keith immediately wiped his tears. "Ever heard of knocking?" He grumbled, not caring who it was. "Nice to see you too." The voice was Shiro's, and the black paladin sat next to him. "I wanted to talk to you... about something."

"Very specific." Keith rolled his eyes, looking in the other direction. "During the scan... Alirra told us about the Hanahaki disease..." Keith felt himself grow stiff. Shiro continued, "...and we know you have it." Keith took a deep breathe, and let it out. He nodded slowly. "We need to know who you like if you want to live." Keith bit his lip. No way in hell would he tell Shiro he liked Lance. Shiro could be homophobic for all he knew! Shiro wouldn't look at him the same way...

"I don't know who I like." Keith sighed. His gaze returned to Shiro's, feeling his heart drop. Shiro looked genuinely concerned. "Bullshit, Keith. I can tell when you lie." Keith heaved another sigh. He seemed to do that a lot. "I really don't know. I can tell you I'm onto the yellow ones, but I don't know who I like." Shiro nodded. "Well, if you remember who she is, don't be afraid to tell me." Shiro got up, and started to leave.

"Shiro." Keith stopped him. Shiro turned and looked at him, his mouth open a bit. "T-thank you." He stammered, seeing Lance outside. ' _Lance knows what's going on with me._ ' Keith's heart sunk deeper. ' _What if he doesn't like me because I'm... sick-ish?_ ' He thought, biting the insides of his cheek. "No problem." Shiro proceeded to walk out.

Keith took off his jacket, placing it on a hook, and flopping onto the bed. The thought of Lance cuddling with him made his cheeks turn red and his chest bubble with warmth. He hugged his pillow, smiling widely. He giggled into the pillow as he thought of Lance. Why was he acting like a girl with a school crush? He didn't know. He just knew the lights went dim and he fell asleep.

* * *

He felt a pillow slap him and the lights get 1000% brighter. "ajfeidfsdh..." He mumbled into the sheets. "Go away~" He complained. "Dude! WAKE. UP! Shiro requested a meeting!" The voice came from no other than Lance. Great. Keith struggled to get out of bed, and rolled over. He fell off, and groaned. "I'm up, I'm up..." Keith yawned. The paladin's eyes looked up at Lance, the Cuban looking half-asleep like Keith. Keith groggily grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the room. His 'I'm Awake' mode switched on and he ran to the common room. He sat down, his arms resting on the couch's head rests.

"Where's Lance?" Shiro asked. Keith pointed to a the blue paladin, who was taking his _sweet time_ getting to the room. Lance took a seat on the edge of the couch on the side Keith sat on. Pidge was smirking at Keith, squealing. "Keith has a crush~" She cooed. Keith's face heated up, and he shrunk away. "I do not!" He grumbled, tiredness edged in his voice.

"Who's the lucky girl?" Pidge wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Keith's heart sunk deeper at the mention of girl again. Hunk nodded. "Who? Tell us! TELL US! I wanna meet her!" The feminine pronoun made Keith's hands turn into fists. "You're getting him mad. I think he doesn't want to admit he has a crush on a girl we haven't even met!" Coran said, making gestures that were unknown to the team. Keith started to tense.

Shiro smiled. "Keith, there is no shame in admitting you like someone. We've all liked girls in our lives." Pidge nodded. "Well, not me, but ya know..." Keith took a deep breathe. Lance laughed. "Is she hot? I hope she's ugly, you deserve someone like that." Keith wanted to have a comeback, but words didn't form.

Ollira sighed. "Just tell us who she is, we wont judge." That was it. The last straw. Keith looked at them. "WHAT IF THEY ARENT A GIRL?!?" He shouted, anger boiling inside him. "Just because I am of the male gender does not mean I like girls. I'm _gay_." Keith immediately regretted his decision, and his face fell into his hands.

"Keith- we... we just..." Shiro started, but was cut off by Keith. "You don't just anything! You don't ask what someone's preference. Think for once, maybe I wanted to come out a littler later, once we knew each other better. And you want to know what? I haven't ever liked a girl! And you, Shiro, of all people should know this! One time does not change _anything_. You hear me? _Anything_! So don't give me bull crap." Keith snapped.

Shiro tried again. "Then you do know who you like. Tell us who you like so we can help you." Shiro begged. Keith sighed. "I know who they are, but they are as straight as a pole so I have absolutely no chance so I'm going to either die or move on." Keith said. "Now, is that all this meeting was for? Because I'm fucking tired."

Shiro sighed, and shook his head. "What stage are you on." Keith winced. "Y-yellow." He said. Allira nodded. "Desires. We'll be going to the space mall to get some..." She coughed. "...supplies." Keith blushed. He buried his face into his hands before muttering an 'okay'. Lance wrapped his arm around Keith, and he felt warmth return to his chest. "Don't worry, dude!" He reassured. His face heated up, and the throbbing returned. His vital regions were turning hard. Keith felt the feeling of throwing up return, and excused himself to go to the bathroom. He appeared to be too late when he started walking to his room, he bent over and just threw up the flowers on the ground. They were now sort of an ugly yellow-green color. ' _This is moving too fast._ ' He thought, starting to panic.

Shiro patted his back. Ullora came to inspect, and gaped. "When did you start this?" She asked. Keith thought for a moment before answering. "Nine... ten days?" He guessed. Olira's ears dropped, but then went back up. "Good news and bad news. You're in the presence of your crush! Bad news, this means things will be quicker and mixed."

Keith groaned. "Great~" He sighed. "Wait, wait, wait.... is the presence thing like in the room thing or like... near distance?" Lance asked, breaking the silence. "Proximity." Ullira reassured. Lance sighed in relief. "Good, 'cause I thought you liked _me_ for a moment!" Keith felt his heart drop farther, this time onto the ground and shattering. Keith nodded, and gave a little chuckle. "Yeah, right." He tried to play it off, but he felt tears wanting to escape his eyes. Shiro noticed, and put a hand on his shoulder. "You alright?" Keith smiled and nodded. "I'm just... going to go back to my room."

Keith quickly rushed to his room. He locked the door so no one could get in, and cried into his pillow that had been touched by Lance's soft and delicate hands. He hugged the pillow, sobbing. "Just get over it..." He whispered over and over again into the pillow, trying to convince himself. He didn't succeed, and only made himself cry harder. His sobs were quiet, inaudible to those outside the room. But, in truth, all he wanted was Lance by his side.

 


	5. Confessions

Keith woke up the next morning, his eyes red and his cheeks stained from the tears that spilled from his eyes the night before. He sniffed, and grabbed his jacket. He placed it on himself, before walking out the door. He wanted to go to Lance's room. He knew why, but he couldn't. Keith sighed, and continued to walk to the common room. Noticing that no other paladin was there, he rubbed his eyes. He sniffed again, before coughing. A single petal flew out, its tint the same yellow-green from the day before. ' _Lance isn't here._ ' Keith thought, looking towards the hallway back to his bedroom. ' _I could take one of his shirts!_ ' Keith had to admit, that was a stupid thought, but that didn't stop him from doing it.

He walked down the hallway, stopping at the door that belonged to Lance's room. He knocked once, and no one answered. He assumed it was safe, and went in. He looked around the room, spotting no Lance, and sighed in relief. He noticed a few things of his possession, but took the first thing he could find. _His jacket._ It wouldn't go unnoticed, but he had to think fast. He grabbed it and ran to his room, placing it under his pillow. He could _smell_ Lance on it, and hugged it. He loved that smell. He couldn't make out what it smelled like, but it smelled like Lance, and that was all that mattered.

_**Lance**_ was all that mattered.

Hearing foot steps towards his room, he quickly hid the possession under his pillow. His door flew open, and non other than Shiro walked in. He was still in his paladin armor, and looked exhausted. "You went on a mission," Keith hissed, "and didn't even tell me?!?" Shiro nodded. "Lance and I saw you asleep so we didn't want to disturb you." Shiro said, putting a hand on Keith's shoulder. "Can you just tell us who you like? No one will judge you." Keith bit his lip, looking towards his pillow. "...don't tell anyone." Keith pleaded. Shiro nodded, and smiled. "I promise." Taking a deep breathe in, Keith muttered out a response. "Lance."

Shiro heard him alright, because he raised an eyebrow. " _Lance_? I thought you hated him." "Well, I don't, okay?" Keith snapped. Shiro nodded. "Well, there is a meeting at the common room again." Keith nodded, standing up. They headed to the common room, Keith feeling awkward. His chest heated up as he took a seat near Lance.

"Keith, because you came out yesterday, we're going to have a coming out day." Shiro announced. "There should be no secrets between the team, this includes your crush." Shiro looked at Keith, suggestively. Keith groaned. "Lance, you start." Shiro suggested.

"Do we _really_ have to do this because Keith has a little crush?" Lance asked. Keith's heart dropped more, if it could. Shiro nodded. "Yes. He felt uncomfortable, and wanted to wait. That is unfair, so we should do something like this for him." Lance sighed.

"I'm bi." Keith's chest burned, and his heart built back up. ' _I have a chance!_ ' He thought. Lance continued. "I don't really have a _crush_ right now."

Hunk was next, but Keith had tuned him out. _He had a chance._ He wanted to dance around, but he didn't want to make a fool out of himself. It was soon back to Keith. "Can you tell us who you like now?" Shiro smirked.

' _I TOLD YOU NOT TO- well, I guess I'm the one saying it._ ' "No." Was the simple answer. Pidge groaned. "Can you let go of your stupid ego for one second and tell us who you like so we can actually HELP YOU." Keith was fed up. He didn't care you was in the room at the moment, he was just angry at Pidge. "IT'S LANCE!" He blurted out. His face heated up and his face fell into his hands.

The whole room was silent, before Lance broke it. "I-I'm going to go to my room." He got up, and left. Keith felt Pidge touch his arm. "I'm sor-" "Go away." Keith didn't look up at her. Pidge must have understood, and went back to her room. Hunk and Shiro got the hint, and left him alone.

He was all alone. ' _Like you should be._ ' A voice echoed in his head. ' _No one cares._ ' Keith held his head. "I didn't even get to stage..." He coughed, and a dark yellow petal came out. ' _They're better off without you._ ' ' _You are a disappointment._ ' ' _Just die._ ' ' _You don't deserve-_ '

"Keith?" Lance's voice broke his thoughts. Keith looked up at him, and the blue paladin sat next to him. "I just wanted to talk about earlier..." Keith wanted to push him away, but the heat in his chest wouldn't let the words form. "What about earlier?" Keith's voice came out forced. "Why do you like me?" Lance asked. His blue eyes were huge, and sparkled with curiosity. Keith blushed, and sighed.

"Lance, you are the most confident person on this team. Everyone adores you, maybe not in the way I do, but people love you. I'm just the half Galra freak that no one takes another look at. When I came out as half Galra, you still were the same. Even though you couldn't stop making cat jokes, you were the same Lance and treated me the same. Unlike Hunk who asked a million questions that I didn't have the answers to and kept asking if I would turn purple. And Pidge who wouldn't stop talking like I was a goddamn science experiment. You still looked at me, despite I was half our enemy. You kept talking and arguing and whatever with me.

"But I'm _jealous_ of you for something. You have a family, something I never had. That's why I long for someone to treat me like someone they want to be around, and you treat everyone like a brother or sister. I don't know, you're just amazing in every way possible, but I see that you beat up yourself. I can see it, but no one else does." Keith said. "Keith, I-" "You are meant to polite the blue lion. You are meant to be on this team. I say I hate you, but I lie. Every single time." Lance's mouth was open, and he looked away. "I wanted to talk about why you took my jacket, but okay." Lance left in a hurry.

Keith rushed to his room, running to the toilet. Throwing up, He didn't want to see what came out, but he knew he had to. The petals were black. He had skipped yellow. "Shit."


	6. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyy sorry for the short chapter  
> school is hard

Keith hated the feeling in his stomach. It made him sick, literally and emotionally. He wanted to _die_ , which may or may not be because he's on the stage of suicide because of love flowers. Okay, that sounded weird. Keith now felt as if he was weighing the whole team down, and he tried to cover up the fact he was dying. He coughed every once and a while, but he made it subtle. Don't choke while anyone's around. Simple, right?

Apparently not, seeing as he was eating and almost choked on a petal that wanted to fly out. Thankfully, Pidge was also having a hard time chewing it so they didn't think much of it. That was... until Lance just _had_ to bring up the sensitive topic of sexuality! _GREAT_.... Like Keith wanted to talk about _that_ again.

And so, there they were. The whole team of Paladins sitting in the common room. Except Keith, who leaned against the wall furthest away from Lance.

"So Keith, does Lance like you back now or...?" Shiro asked, concern edging his voice. The black paladin had always been like a brother to Keith, helping him with everything.

Lance shook his head. "No. I don't like Keith at all." He said with a sassy attitude. He motioned with his hands in a weird way, and Keith didn't bother to see it.

"I got over it." Keith put simply. "Let's just focus on the next mission, _okay_?" The red paladin hissed, not wanting the attention. He hated attention. It would mean one of two things; embarrassment (which seemed more likely) and him being judged for not wanting to talk. Neither of those options sounded good to dear ol' Keith, so he tried to stay away from being the focus of a topic.

Shiro nodded. "Alright. We are heading to a planet called..." He paused, looking at a piece of paper. "...Cirago? Chirogu?" Hunk walked over to him, reading the paper. "Cirugo." The yellow paladin said, patting his back. "Anyways, they apparently have more advanced medicine and machines, and they look more like humans." Shiro said.

Keith nodded. "How long until we get there? Red is fast, she can get there in no time if we take her." He said, trying to be reasonable. Shiro nodded, agreeing with his second in command. "Alright then. We will be there in a couple of days, if Coran's math is correct." Pidge nodded, looking proud. "Don't worry, I double checked on his calculations." She assured.

Keith nodded as well. "What is the climate of this planet?"

"Cold... which should actually mean we take the Blue Lion." Lance smirked at Keith, but the red paladin paid no attention to his antics. "How many of us should we send down?" Keith asked. Shiro thought for a second, before turning to Keith. "Would you be alright going with Lance?" Keith froze, and looked at Lance who looked as confused. "Why him?" Lance asked, motioning over to Keith.

"Because Keith can keep a level-head." Shiro explained. Keith sighed, but nodded. "I'll go." ' _He doesn't want you_.' A voice echoed in his mind, but Keith dismissed it. Lance groaned in frustration. " _FINE_." He said, annoyed. Keith felt his spirits drop. "I mean, what's he going to do? Shoot snowflakes?" ' _You're useless_.' Another voice echoed, this time it sounded more like Lance.

"Okay! Change of plans!" Coran walked in, the door closing behind him. "We are going to use a wormhole now that the tele-dubs are working properly again thanks to Pidge here!" He placed a hand on Pidge's forehead, and to that the green paladin smiled. "It was nothing..." She blushed slightly in embarrassment. ' _You don't matter. They don't need you_.' The voices now resembled Pidge's and Coran's voices in unison.

Lance and Hunk cheered for Pidge, and Shiro just smiled at her. ' _They don't care about you_ ,' The voices repeated, now sounding like Hunk and Shiro. The echoes of voices started chanting what they had said, giving the red paladin a headache. ' _Please,_ ' Keith thought, ' _please stop_...'

"Keith, are you okay?" Shiro asked him, making him snap back into reality. Keith was holding a hand to his head, and he pulled it away slowly. "Just a headache." He informed. "It's nothing." He looked at the paladins, noticing Coran and Pidge weren't there. "Where's Pidge?" Keith asked, seemingly confused.

"You don't... remember?" Lance asked, waving a hand in front of him. "You started shouting at Pidge like 'you don't matter', 'they don't need you', all that mumbo-jumbo."

"Shit."

"Language, Keith."

Coran came back in a moment later. "Pidge took the green lion out of it's hangar!"

* * *

"Pidge!" Shiro called over the radio that was in the helmets of the paladins' armor.

"What?" She hissed, a crack in her voice indicating she had been crying. "Keith's right. I don't matter, do I? You never cared about finding my brother!"

Keith felt heartbroken. ' _This is all my fault_.' He realized. "Pidge, I-I blacked out. I didn't know what happened. Those thoughts... those were for _me_." He explained. "I'm useless. I deserve nothing. I am only for others. My life doesn't matter." He spilled, venom edged in the red paladin's voice.

"Keith..." Pidge's voice seemed to clear up. Shiro looked at Keith. "You aren't over Lance, are you?" Silence followed the question. "Keith, are you on the last stage?" Silence again.

"I-I am." ' _Worthless. Stupid. Ugly. Annoying. Obnoxious._ ' Thoughts lingered in his head, each word a different voice. The one that hurt the most was Lance's, and he just wanted to cry. "I-I'm going to my room." He said, doing as he informed the others. He walked down the hallways to his room, wanting this to all end. "Please..." He whispered into his hands as the raised to his face. "Leave me alone..."


	8. Chapter 8

Keith sat on the soft, cloud-like white bed. “L-lock door...” he commanded the Altean ship, and the clicking coming from the room indicated the ship abiding with his request.  
His face landed into his hands, tears seeping from his eyes and onto the hands. He clutched his fist, scrunching his face as well. 

_‘They don’t need you.’_   
_‘You’re Just a Galra.’_   
_‘Why are you here?’_

Each voice resembled that of his teammates, the thoughts echoing in his mind and increasing his volume _. ‘Stop... stop, stop, stop stop stop STOP!’_ He ended up punching the wall out of frustration, creating a small dent and a few cuts on his hand. Blood stained the wall, and it dripped from his knuckles.   
“Keith,” the voice of Shiro- his Shiro - called out from behind the door. “Please, can you just talk to me?” 

Keith shut his eyes, imagining the black Paladin, mocking him. _‘Oh, Keith. My right hand man, my successor, killed by flowers?’_   
“Shut up...” he muttered. 

“Number Four, it is not healthy to stay in one’s room all day. I remember, back when I was a young-“ Coran was cut short by the Yellow Paladin’s concerning voice. “Buddy, can you please come out?” He asked, his voice sweet and kind.

 _‘Who would want to see you?’_ Hunk’s voice mimicked in his mind, an imaginative yellow eyes glowing from the pictured Hunk’s face.  
Keith clenched his jaw in fury. He already knew this. Why would the voices repeat the things he knew for a fact? 

“I’m pathetic,” Keith chuckled softly. His eyes grazed the room until his gaze settled on his beloved Blade. Oh, how he loved that Blade. The only item he had that reminded him of who he was. _‘And what my fate is meant to be.’_

Keith stood up from the tiny Altean bed, walking up to the desk. He placed a hand on the handle of the blade, and pushed his jacket off of himself. Centering the Blade onto where his heart would be, Keith dug it into his flesh. 

It was too late when Keith snapped back into reality. The Red Paladin gripped the blade tighter, attempting to push it out of his flesh. Unfortunately, this only awoken the blade, and it pierced through his heart. He screamed out, before darkness fell upon the half-breed’s vision.


	9. Author’s note - I hate this fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stop asking me for more

I absolutely hate this fanfiction. 

There are so many things I could have done better, and I have no motivation to continue it. Here’s why:

-The pacing is off

-I’m in and out of Voltron

-I don’t have a soul

-I’m busy

-I have no motivation to write

-My cat brought in a snake hold on-

-I don’t like how I structured this fic.

 

there you go. But, if you want to know how this was supposed to end, here you go:

-Keith was supposed to survive and attempted suicide, and they would take him to the Alkari to get a piece of his brain removed (the part in which controls your feelings). After that, he would be an emotionless human being. (Like me-) If you know what Yandere Simulator is, just think of Yandere-Chan. 

-Lance was supposed to not care at first but then begin to miss the old Keith. He would often begin to think of some... innopropriate thoughts (I would never actually write smut) and realize he’s fallen in love for someone who doesn’t exist anymore, who cannot feel love or any other emotions. 

-He goes behind the team’s back and goes through multiple obstacles to get to Alkari to find Keith’s brain cells. (That sounded weird). They would, and Keith would be rid of the Hanahaki disease and the two would live happily under the same stars.

NOW YOU SEE WHY I CANT MAKE ONE CHAPTER??? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SERIES!!!

If Anyone wants to continue this, I’m going to put this fanfiction up for adoption.


End file.
